I’m trying to understand a lot of things that to me, make no sense. Why call Sean? What is the deal? Before it was told by her that she knew Sean was spoken for and had a pregnant girlfriend. And on top of that, why call from church? With my upbringing, I could not fathom what that type of consequences that type of behavior would have followed. I just don’t get it.
Since two Sunday’s ago, I have found out that Ashleigh called Annie. A lesbian from Sturgeon Bay. Now, mind you… I don’t care if Ashleigh is gay. Ashleigh met her at the psych unit. On top of that, she has done it in a secretive fashion as well. She has deceived people to get her future romantic backups set. And last Sunday Ashleigh told me that she is still in love with “Stanley”.
Those who do not know, At 16 years old, Ashleigh had unprotected sex with a 26 year old. Who I call “Stanley”. A report for sex with a minor – but have heard nothing back from the court and/or DA regarding the case moving forward. And now Ashleigh is going back to saying she loves him. She is going to move in with them and live according to their terms.
Ashleigh’s discussion with me about “Stanley” made me feel angry and exceptionally hurt. What stuck it in harder was the letter Ashleigh wrote to me after our discussion. Threatening that if I talk to people about this (namely foster parents or Eric) that Ashleigh would have nothing to do with me and would never forgive Eric for the past. It was as if we had gone so many steps back. The manipulation, teenage ignorance, anger, resentment… It was all back .. And in a larger scale. Even though Friday to Saturday of last weekend was fine, suddenly things were amping up again. So I made the executive decision to not include Ashleigh in our Thanksgiving activities. I didn’t want to do it. I also didn’t want to be run through the emotional wringer. And as much as I know that wouldn’t be the end, I at least could take this week off. Maybe Ashleigh needed that cooling off period too.
In the interim, court to extend her placement in foster care was today. The judge agreed it would be in Ashleigh’s best interest to remain there at the foster home. So it has been ordered for her to stay in care until June 30th, 2014. This way she will have ample opportunity to graduate with her class. Instead of her just deciding to pick up and go on her 18th birthday. She will be given every opportunity to succeed. I just hope and pray that she will not bolt as soon as Feb 10th comes around.
Also, the pain in my back is severe. I can’t move very well at all. My last two Dr’s appts regarding my back, I have cried during both. Oxycodone makes me feel “high”. I don’t want “high”. I want the pain to go away. Tizanidine, muscle relaxer makes me tired. And Tylenol, ibuprophen, and naproxen help not at all. According to this specialist I saw today, injections won’t help me. I have to either become more active to lose weight to relieve some of the stress and pressure. Which I would love to. The spasms in my back have almost taken me down to the ground on a number of occasions. And every movement is impacted. Oh, and I guess a chronic pain therapist could help me. I got very agitated by that recommendation. I have two therapists at present. One will be retiring the end of December of this year. I can’t afford their copays. Let alone a chronic pain therapist. I am stuck yet again. Water therapy is in my future. Beyond that, time for bed. Nighters!